Teachers

So I thought about calling this series Inequity in Teaching... but I don't want to mislead and have it get lost or looked over in the onslaught of material in the world about inequitable teaching. Don't get me wrong... I feel passionately that teachers should be equitable. HOWEVER...

THAT
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ABOUT
:-)

This post is about Inequity in Teaching. In being a teacher. In the career. In the life. In the day-to-day insanity that is this "job."

I know that a million people have posted about how hard it is. How much work. How many long hours they slave. So I'll save you from that, too. We don't go into this job BLIND, people. We KNOW it's going to be hard.

When I sign my contract, I know the calendar ahead of time. I know how many 12-hour conference days there are. I know how many and exactly which days I get off for breaks. I know how many personal days I can take... and I've even worked out how many sick days I can take without getting "noticed." Not that I'm faking it when I call in sick. It's the opposite actually, I calculate how much sickness I can physically handle so that I DON'T have to call in sick. Because Sub Plans are the WORST. But you all know that too. It's easier to tough it out at work than spend two hours writing sub plans and sit at home worrying that you're missing out on critical instruction time because no matter how good the sub is, no matter how good the plans... It's just not the same as being there and doing it yourself.

Also, thank you to the substitutes who do this job. We are struggling in our district to actually have any subs pick up jobs. So believe me when I say, when you do, it's a huge relief to us!

Back to my point. This article isn't about how hard the job is. And, despite my digression a moment ago, it's not about having to go to work sick or sit at home sick worrying that you aren't at work.

This article... is about how teachers not only have the hardest job, in the world, hands down - I will argue you to the death about this....

but this particular article in this series is mostly about how public school teachers are considered the scapegoats. For everything. For the failures in education. For the failures in children. For the failure of the system to provide an education for children. For the failure to be equitable. For the failure to help every child score in the 99th percentile on the state mandated test. For the failure to not be as good as homeschooling, no matter how hard we try, and how much we want it to be that successful. This first article in this series is about how teachers are the scapegoats. Because we can't feasibly do enough for the kiddos in front of us.

No seriously, we can't.

And it's not just the politicians saying we aren't good enough. It's not just our districts or our administration or the parents, whose children we care for every day.

We blame OURSELVES for our failures.

A lot of teachers are "Type A." I can imagine it would be hard, next to impossible even, to be a teacher and not have that kind of driven, organized, empathetic persona. I've always been a bit of a perfectionist (ask my daughter about violin some time...) and I constantly practice my mantra that was my mantra before Frozen, thank you very much.

I TRYYYYY to let it go. I do.

I try to pick my battles. I try to let go of what I can't handle.

I TRYYYYY to let God.

But I'm a control freak. And I like to do a good job when I do something. And I'm not sure it's possible to do a good job of teaching. I don't care how good you are. There's always something better, something more, something different you can do as a teacher. Because you work with HUMANS.

Tiny humans. Cute ones. That cry. And scream. and giggle and learn and love life and hate life and rely on you to help them feel safe and nurtured and to teach them and protect them and feed them and care for them.

As a parent... I know exactly what it feels like when you've let your kiddo down in one of those categories. When you haven't been the leader you're supposed to be. Because you're human, too. And imperfect, thank the Lord! And fallible.

So teaching is, yes, hard.

But it's not just that it's hard. Because a lot of things are hard and people still can be successful at them. Running a marathon is damn hard work, and yet people are successful. You've done it! You ran all those miles! Fantastic! Baking a cake is really damn hard. It's chemistry people. Science! And yet, people do it. Quite successfully, I might add, if you take my waistline into account.

The point I want to make tonight... is that being SUCCESSFUL at teaching is impossible because it requires being perfect in all things. A master of ALL trades. Including psychology, nutrition, anthropology, and sociology as well as knowing how to teach reading, writing, math, science, social studies, language, art, music, etc. to a variety of learners. It requires being physically fit yourself, not getting ill, not feeling run down, or stressed or exhausted. It requires CONSTANT diligence and reflection on self and practice. But even that is not enough.

Being successful as a teacher is impossible because we don't teach in a vacuum. The odds are stacked. So teaching is an inequitable practice, because no matter how hard we try, no matter how many hours we spend in professional development or coaching or mentoring or trying new things, we are going to fail.

And knowing that we go to work every day to fail.... well that's even harder.

And that's only the internal struggle. That only reflects on how I feel about myself as a successful individual. As a teacher who is doomed to never do what she knows her students absolutely deserve.